DON'T KILL YOURSELF

[Shaunta Spates]

Acts 16:25-28 (NLT) Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were
listening. 26) Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison
was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and
the chains of every prisoner fell off! 27) The jailor woke up to see the
prison doors wide open. He assumed the prisoners had escaped, so he
drew his sword to kill himself. 28) But Paul shouted to him, “Stop!
Don’t kill yourself! We are all here!”

“Late in the midnight hour.” Whenever we hear that phrase it’s usually accompanied by “God’s
gonna turn it around.” Most Christians use it as a form of
encouragement, but if we allow ourselves to be honest with ourselves,
sometimes the midnight hour is the longest and darkest part of our day.
It was late in the midnight hour that I stayed up starring at the
ceiling too stressed and too depressed to go to sleep, it was late in
the midnight hour that I felt the loneliest, it was late in the midnight
hour that I cried myself to sleep, it was late in the midnight hour
that I tried to commit suicide.

Whenever we read this particular passage of scripture we always seem to emphasize the massive
earthquake that came to free Paul and Silas “late in the midnight hour”
but we tend to ignore the fact that it was in this same “midnight hour”
that the guard almost ended his life! When he woke up to see the prison
doors wide open he assumed the prisoners had escaped, HE THOUGHT HE LOST
EVERYTHING. When that man/woman walked out on you, you thought you lost
everything, when that job laid you off, you thought you lost
everything, when you were evicted, you though you lost everything. Those
prisoners represent the guard’s source of income, those prisoners
represent the guards hope; those prisoners represent his future and his
dreams. Without prisoners, there is no prison guard; therefore those
prisoners represent this guard’s purpose. This guard assumes his
purpose has left him. So, if I have no purpose in life, then what’s the
purpose for life?

If you notice the guard is never referred to by his name, he is only referred to by his purpose (a jailor). So often
we allow the world to tell us what our purpose is. They refer to us as
the baby mamma, the drug dealer, the alcoholic, the hoe. As a result, we
begin to fulfill the world’s purpose for our lives; slowly killing
every secret desire to be more than what they say you are, suffocating
every dream you ever had, leaving the promises of God that you held deep
in your heart gasping for air, committing internal suicide, one step
away from following thru externally. But, before you give up, before you
let go, before you kill yourself God is saying I am still here. God
loves you. Yes, you may have heard that before from the same person that
walked out on you, but this love is an agape love. Regardless of who
may have left, God says I will never leave you or forsake you (Joshua
1:5), ok you lost your job, God says promotion comes not from the east
or the west, or from the south, but I am the judge (Psalm 75:6-7). I
understand you may have been evicted, but God says in my house are many
mansions (John 14:2). When those prison doors opened you became free.
Free from the purpose others had placed upon you, free to explore new
opportunities, free to start over. Those prison doors opening up was
just God setting you up for something better! Don’t take your life, you
have too much purpose, don’t take your life you have too much destiny,
don’t take your life someone needs you. The midnight hour can be very
dark and very lonely, but there are 60 minutes in an hour, 60 seconds in
a minute and God only needs one second to turn your midnight into
daylight. Don’t kill yourself!